Even though I am — sadly — accustomed to seeing people rummaging through trash, this morning, when I spotted two tiny old ladies desperately trying to peer into a trash can, I couldn't help but stop, as it was clear the two ladies were in distress.
One of them looks at me and says: “Don't worry, everything's fine!”
The other retorts: “Fine?! Only because you don't have the guts to explain what you've done! Since when do we throw out the garbage in the morning?!”
The poor old lady, utterly mortified, begins to explain: “Signurí, you must believe me, I always throw the garbage out in the evening, after 6 p.m., when it is allowed, but last night we went to my nephew's wedding and came home tired. So this morning, since I had to go out early to get a blood test and the garbage was smelling, I grabbed the trash bag and went to throw it out.”
“Well," I say, "it’s not such a big deal! What do you want to do now — fish it out of the dumpster?”
I'd have never thought I had such an uncivilized and utterly stupid sister!
The other one responds, all riled up: “My sister hasn't told you the whole truth! We never go out in the evening, but yesterday before going to the wedding, we were afraid that thieves might come. So I took the money left from our pension, one hundred euros, wrapped them in a newspaper, and hid the little bundle in the trash bag. I didn't tell my sister anything, to avoid worrying her. I knew we'd be back late and wouldn't throw the garbage out, and in the morning I'd wake up, retrieve the money, and everything would be fine. I'd have never thought I had such an uncivilized and utterly stupid sister!”
Despite feeling grossed out by the trash, I felt sorry for the ladies, so in a burst of altruism, I said:
“Don't worry, I'll look inside, and if you tell me what the bag looks like, we'll try to recover it. And anyway, don't give this poor woman a hard time, she feels guilty enough as it is, and after all, she didn't do anything terrible — she just happened to throw out the trash at the wrong time. It's not fair to call her stupid!”
“You're defending her now! Well, I'm leaving, you two figure it out, I'm taking the bus back home!"
At this point, a doubt crosses my mind.
"Excuse me, why does your sister want to take the bus? Do you live far away? Then why are you looking for trash here, on Via Foria?"
"We live in Piazza Carlo III, but I get my blood drawn at Piazza Cavour. And since I was ashamed to be seen throwing out the trash at the wrong time close to my house, I walked all the way here and brought it with me."
"So you threw it out here?"
"Well, maybe. That's the biggest problem, signurí! I can't remember where the hell I threw it!”Learn more about Worldcrunch's exclusive Dottoré! series here.