Fun For All? Why Play Should Also Be A Serious Grown-Up Endeavor

-Essay-

ATHENS — “Sometimes I feel so boring,” said a woman I had just met on the beach. We were watching our respective young children running on the sand, screeching in excitement about the goals they scored and bouncing quickly from one game to another.

I get it: when you see a child at the peak of their exploration, it is hard not to wonder where they get their energy, curiosity and enthusiasm.

My son, León, who is one and a half years old, spent close to an hour going from shrub to shrub of wild lantana, grabbing the clusters of flowers, observing how they came apart very quickly in his hands and how much their colors varied.

Many adults are able to concentrate deeply when fulfilling a task — but how often do we enjoy it as much as a child?

The mind of a child

This is partly due to our different stages in life, says developmental psychologist Alison Gopnik, whose work I deeply admire because it has had a tremendous impact on how I perceive childhood.

In a nutshell, Gopnik says that children are fulfilling their role, which is to explore. And they are able to explore freely because adults are there to create a safe environment for them to learn by trial and error — like small scientists. On the other hand, as Gopnik explains, adults are better at focusing on more specialized work using the brains they have developed through nurture and experimentation throughout childhood.

Of course, this does not mean that adults are less playful per se. But it does mean that we take fewer risks, are less surprised by our surroundings, and that we are also quite understandably concerned with real stressors.

​The opposite of a medical prescription

This is true especially for parents of young children, especially in contexts that put them at a clear disadvantage. There is clear evidence that the climate emergency, as well as racism and living in poverty, are systemic stressors that put families of young children at higher risk — affecting the mental wellbeing of both caregivers and children.

Yet as adults, we are increasingly aware that we should relax, be away from our screens, exercise, eat well and, yes, play.

But play is the opposite of a medical prescription.

As we celebrate June 11, the first International Day of Play, it’s a great time to think about what play means for kids and adults alike.

“Play is something done for its own sake,” Dr. Stuart Brown of the National Institute for Play told NPR. “It's voluntary, it's pleasurable, it offers a sense of engagement, it takes you out of time. And the act itself is more important than the outcome.”

Game companies are now trying to target adults as new customers — think of major players like Playmobil and LEGO, as this article we published recently explains. Sets that are “carefully curated and especially recommended for adults” on themes such as wonders of the world, the magic of film, outer space, icons of pop culture, luxury cars and architectural masterpieces.

I don’t know how to play with those plastic gods the way that Lorenzo does.

I myself have fallen victim to Playmobil since I moved to Greece, where I discovered their collection of Greek Olympian Gods. Imagine Athena, the goddess of wisdom and war (yes, we can discuss how the two can go together) with her spear, shield and an owl that you can attach to her helmet. Or Artemis, the goddess of wild animals, vegetation and childbirth, accompanied by a fawn and a cherry tree. There are also figurines of Odysseus and Circe, the sorceress who could change humans into pigs — of course, she comes with a couple of pigs.

In theory, I have been buying these Playmobil for Lorenzo, my 5-year-old son, who is a big fan of Greek mythology. But in reality, I do wish I had had those plastic figures myself growing up. As a native of Naples, in southern Italy, a city that was founded by the Greeks in the 8th century B.C., I was raised listening to Greek mythology and believing that thunderstorms happened when Zeus had a headache, and that we should never displease Poseidon, the god of the seas, if we wanted to swim peacefully.

But even so, I have not succumbed to collecting the Playmobil myself. I gift them to Lorenzo and watch how he unpacks them. I sigh deeply when he loses pieces — Athena’s spear went missing very quickly! And I tell myself that I don’t know how to play with those plastic gods the way that Lorenzo does, making up wars, journeys and punishments.

I also found an incredible series of accessories that can be printed with a 3D printer for those who want to give their set an Argentine vibe — a “che playmobil." Objects like a BBQ set or a Boca football T-shirt would be very popular at home, given that my husband is a proud Argentine football fan.

​Adults with toys

Is the risk of adults using sets like Playmobil that we simply want to collect them, have the most extravagant and quirkiest accessories, and keep them pristine? Isn’t part of the exploration that we can actually mix and match them, break them apart? We risk losing what makes play fun.

An example: I recently went to a wedding, where I rediscovered how much I love dancing away for hours on end. I got back home with the resolution to have more dance in my life. I started to consider whether I should study some kind of dance or earn a certificate, until I realized that was exactly the opposite of what I needed. I just wanted to dance for fun, no strings attached, no certificates needed!

We shouldn't be ashamed of a change in our status, nor should this prevent us from being fun.

Back on the beach, the mother I was talking to who felt boring was comparing her current self (stay-at-home mother) to her previous self (a successful business person). She was weighing her previous work-related adrenaline-inducing activity against her flat, monotonous rhythm dictated by another human being.

She was missing her freedom, which she associated with fun. And I get it.

Staying at home with kids is still seen as unglamorous and unexciting, though it is slowly being recognised as important and very tiring. But we shouldn't be ashamed of a change in our status, nor should this prevent us from being fun — not boring.

After all, as anyone who’s seen a child with a box knows, they don’t need anything fancy to play.